PEER PRESSURE

 

The title might suggest that I am going to talk about the peer pressure we face these days to consume drugs, alcohol, or smoke. No, I am not going to be the ‘Mukesh’ of Indian advertisement, at least not today. So, if not this, one might think I’m going to talk about the peer pressure to binge-watch certain popular TV shows and films. Let me tell you, I advocate this kind of peer pressure because there are high chances that you might end up watching a masterpiece, a show that’s therapeutic for you. Well, I am going to talk about the peer pressure to probably overachieve, restart your life, start from scratch and reach zenith from zero.

 

Let’s say you aren’t having a terrible day and things are going just fine but one Instagram post completely changes your mood. It can be your school friends who weren’t really book smart or street smart posting their pictures of studying abroad, traveling, or living their life to the fullest and suddenly you start feeling less happy about the life you have. You remind yourself that you must be feeling happy for them and not envious but there is nothing you can do about the way you feel, after all, we don’t have control over our emotions. Now, check their posts and you will see they celebrate not just Diwali but also Halloween, they have prom nights, their universities are so different from what we have in our country, the culture, social background everything is so different and intriguing. Here, the daydreaming starts and you imagine yourself in their position, but the human brain knows a thing or two about defense mechanisms. Soon you will close the tab and say, “Instagram is all about show-off, they probably are miserable in a new country.” This is your brain trying to protect you from the emotional trauma you are experiencing at that moment. But what does your heart scream at you? Also, aren’t you miserable at the place you are right now? Have you found the pill to happiness staying here? Have you ever introspected?

 

People are so terrified of spending time alone and introspecting. Ask human beings to lock themselves in a room without any gadget, and they will experience anxiety and depression more than loneliness. Talking to self quite often is something so unusual, because by doing so, we find answers to the most complicated mysteries about ourselves and sometimes we find the answers we were trying to suppress. Instead of thinking social media isn’t real, let us change the narrative for once to why am I getting triggered by such posts? Is it because I have always wanted what they have? Feeling envious is normal human tendency, the real problem lies in not questioning our life goals in the right direction.

 

I know everyone has a different life story, the struggles, the privileges, the situations are all different for everyone so they try to suppress their feelings and use various types of defense mechanisms.  But for once, forget the external factors involved and look within. Give the heart what it truly deserves, or at least try giving. Give yourself one chance to live the life you have always dreamt of. Believe yourself to achieve the thing you thought is implausible. Stop seeing the world through a pane of frosted glass and try various things. Understanding what isn’t working for you will facilitate the process of elimination and help make space for what is in alignment with your truth and your story. Dropping a  quote from one of the famous and my favorite dialogues from a popular TV show, ‘How I met your mother’, “OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.” Re-read the quote till you understand and make this your life mantra.

 

Everything and everyone has a purpose in life and assume you getting triggered to such posts is a signal from the universe, its universe screaming at you to take the first step and be the person who triggers others and help them fulfil their purpose of life. You might not succeed even after giving your 100%, no one can guarantee success with mere self-belief but 10 years down the lane, you will live a life without regrets, and you won’t be the person who says “what if I gave it a shot”.

It’s better to fail and hit rock bottom because once you hit rock bottom, you can’t go further down.  Trust me failure sucks a little less than lifelong regret. So, take this as a signal and work towards the thing you have been suppressing for so long due to external factors.

 

Post introspection, if your heart says you are happy with what you have/where you are right now, trust your instincts. Don’t overthink,  try writing it on paper so that whenever you feel anxious you can read and reassure yourself. It is on you to decide what makes you happy: Chandni Chowk or Times Square and the best part is there are no right answers. If it makes sense to you it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone.

 

So, peer pressure to study abroad, be independent, and do things you haven’t even thought about, can actually be good and lead you to work on yourself and achieve milestones. Choose what makes you happy!!!